http://margaretnoble.net/blog/tocha/
The splish-splash of the water, the sound of the birds flying over, the sound of kids play, it is so nice to be here. The gentle waves crashing down upon the rocks, it sounded like a symphony of sounds. Nothing is more relaxing, The birds were chirping away at there chatter of songs, only to be lost by the wind and the ocean fury. Kids playing away, jumping in the water, playing in the sand carelessly. The ocean sounded like a car driving away in the distance, as if it needed to be somewhere. Slowly climbing up the sand, as it always has for the last eternity. Wind breezing past, you could almost touch it, like a bird that is so close, yet, so far away. It glides past my ears, at a fast speed. I inhale deeply, let the salty air through my nose, and into my lungs. The feeling of sand between my toes, for that warm feeling inside your whole body. There's no place I'd rather be.
I liked the way you used nature to describe your sound. I like the simile of a car. I liked how you described everything. You described your sound so i could almost hear it. I heard the ocean. It made me think of the beach right next to my house. I think if you wrote the sound as you heard it in chronological order it might help paint a better picture. I still can't quite tell if you heard birds, kids, and the ocean at the same time or separately. I think it was pretty good though. - Brendan Rodisch
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